The Internet is for Porn... and Humiliation.

Well, friends, we've made it to Part II. Thanks for checking back in after all those boring rule posts. Now things are going to get a little more interesting... hopefully.

Part II is titled: Where and How to Shop. All I can say is, finally. We're half way through the book and I only have one month left before the summer season is officially over so I need to buckle down and make some magic. Within the introduction for Part II, the book writes, "Ask yourself, where would I enjoy being, where can I pursue my interests, and where can I go to become my best version of myself." Ah, I have to admit this is probably the advice I've valued most from this text. It's not an entirely new concept to me but I still appreciate that they mentioned it. It's simple and something to strive for. Another piece of wisdom from this introduction was this: "You have to ask, ask, and keep asking everyone you know whether they know a great guy for you." Okay. I suppose that's something to try. Um, so if you're reading this... please consider it an attempt, thanks.

So on to the Rules.

Rule #1: Shop Online - It Works!

Oh, God. I knew it was coming but I have to tell you, this one is already giving me stomach pains. Now, I know online dating is a reality of our generation. 1 out of 8 marriages can thank the internet for getting them started nowadays and it's estimated that Americans alone spend about half-a-billion dollars a year on dating websites. I have friends who have had luck trying it; I know plenty of wonderful people that speak highly of it; but I'm sorry, it makes me nervous. I guess I always imagined I'd meet my future husband in a more organic fashion. A romantic ideal of a younger me, perhaps, but I still can't help but hope that things will fall into place on their own. Without me searching for it... or browsing profiles to determine if there's potential chemistry.

Another one of my qualms roots back to my early days of living in New York City and a quasi internet dating experience I attempted. It's not one of my favorite memories but I'm willing to share it so that maybe you'll understand some of my hesitation for looking for love online.

I had just graduated from college and I found myself living in Brooklyn with three of my college friends. I moved to the city wide eyed and naive. About almost everything. But it made me constantly available and willing to put myself in extremely awkward situations simply because I didn't know any better. I also had just uncovered a new website called craigslist. Come on guys, this was 2005, okay? It was still sort of new back then. I managed to find a job and an apartment through the site so when my roommate, Jill, told me that she had found a guy on there that she thought would be perfect for me I didn't run away screaming like I probably should have. Jill decided to email this gentleman pretending to be me. He had red hair. He loved the theater. Jill was convinced that he was the one. And back then, red hair AND a love for the theater... well, I'll admit it didn't take much more than that to convince me either. She continued to email him as me but soon disclosed the secret to him and sent him my real email address. We emailed shortly and agreed to meet for a drink one night.

The sad thing is, I still remember exactly what I wore that evening. It was a fairly simple outfit, jeans and a jacket, but I made sure to wear a green scarf I had recently made for myself... hoping that he might be even more interested in me if he knew I could knit. Wow. I'm really trying to embarrass myself admitting that one. Anyway, we met for a drink in Brooklyn. I drank beer even though back then my 22 year old self didn't love it. And the conversation was decent, interesting at times, but ultimately, I knew that we didn't have much chemistry. The spark was just not there. But I was young and eager and I wanted to give it chance. So I agreed to see him for a few more dates. I even once consented to trudging through one of the worst snowstorms of the past few years to spend the night watching The Simpsons at his apartment. (Side note: It was same snowstorm that I had earlier convinced my roommates to enjoy with me by blowing up our airbed and trying to use it as a sled. Not the most successful idea of mine.) He had a great place, a wonderful book collection, and comfortable pillows. But sadly, I was more interested in the Chekhov plays he owned than in any physical relations that went on that evening and I ended up leaving his place in the wee hours of the morning to escape.

But again... I was young... and wanted to be nice and give the fella a chance. So we stayed in communication and as the snow cleared I found myself in another type of storm. My grandmother was very ill and I was rushed back to Connecticut at the end of January to visit her in the hospital and ultimately say goodbye. It was the first major death I had to deal with in my life and when she passed away on February 1st, I knew I would never be the same. I spent the next week grieving with my family and helping my mother handle all the arrangements. In the meantime, I managed to email Mr. Craigslist to let him know that I would be out of the city for a few more days. He responded with his sincere apologies, which I was thankful for. Later on though, he emailed me back again... to tell me that he wasn't in a "dating place" but that if I ever needed someone to see a play with I could contact him (I had access to a lot of free tickets). So. The guy that I wasn't terribly attracted to dumped me in an email. Right after my grandmother died. Awesome. I know it's not that bad... but at the time, it was pretty unpleasant. And need I even mention that he was not at all impressed with my crafting skills?

Since then, online dating just never seemed like something I would consider doing again. But as the chapter states, "Get over it. Dating is a numbers game - and by that we mean the more opportunities you give yourself to meet someone, the more chance you will have of making a match." Well, I guess I have to at least try this because I promised myself I'd complete this book. So this rule is going to be an ongoing attempt as I hit the others... or as I "keep shopping at various stores" as the book would say. I did some extended research and asked around and found a free dating service (sorry friends, I just can't pay for something that makes me immediately so uncomfortable) and will be checking in on it during these next few weeks. No promises, other than I promise to be open minded. Rule one also provides many suggestions on how to make the most out of online dating... and I will touch upon those as well when they come up in this whole process; please check in on it again.

Hopefully you don't think any less of me after reading my some rather more personal details, hopefully you're still willing to read this. And hopefully at the end of this darn book challenge I'll have a few more stories to share... and maybe, just maybe, I'll meet someone that values a lady who can craft scarves for those chilly nights.