Easy as 1, 2, 3

Seems like it's been a roller coaster type of week for many of us as we've had to accept the deaths of well loved celebrities and the realities of despair that face too many countries outside of our own. And with each up and down, as shallow as it may seem in comparison, my shop continues! And as promised, we're on to the rules. So let's waste no more time and brace these together.

Rule #1: Don't Choose a Man by His Shoes - and Don't Be Crazy Picky

Now after what seemed like one too many pages to define this rule, I gathered that the real point they were trying to make had to do with identifying that we are a culture based on the ability to customize our lifestyles. From the exactness of our cups of coffee (I've come to enjoy mine iced with vanilla soy milk, cinnamon, and one Splenda) to the colors we decorate our rooms (my bedroom is currently painted "Melon Popsicle"). We may be considered "picky" but our pickiness is only a mask for our fear. And sure, I guess I can follow that idea for a moment... up until they used this analogy: "ask yourself: would you ever, ever, ever buy a bathing suit if you were super picky? No. So think of a guy as a bathing suit, and get ready to make a purchase." This makes me uneasy. I want to approach guys as if they were bathing suits? Really? As a member of my high school swim team I remember ordering suits out of a catalogue; they were meant to serve as a competition tool and could be mass produced so that the entire team could have one. I just can't get myself to think of men like swimsuits and get that excited about it... hopefully the rest of these rules won't bring me back to my high school sports days.

Rule #2: Trade In Being Picky for Being Choosy

Okay, so this chapter starts with trying to categorize what type of shopper you are... and honestly, I already know what kind of shopper I am and can see why I may have a hard time with this whole experience... I'm a huge thrift store shopper; that's where I get the majority of my clothing. I like to find things that other people may have once worn and discarded. I like to think I can take something that may seem ugly at first and change it to meet my demands and style. And I like to find all these things for cheap prices. Now in admitting this I know we can all see the flags. If trying to find a suitable match were just like shopping I'd be in trouble... I'd want relationships with people that were "thrown away" for a reason, I'd go after guys looking to change them, and I'd do it just trying to find a quick deal. I hope this doesn't describe me, gang, and if it does, I hope I can change my ways. Lucky for me this chapter also provides a list on "How To Be Choosy". Let's explore it for a moment.

• 1.) Don't Fall for Extravagant Packaging

"They'll wine and dine you, take you on luxury vacations, but just as often, they won't deliver when it comes to the "C" word. Yes, we'll say it: commitment. It's not a dirty word."
Whoa, whoa, whoa... I don't understand. There are ladies who are getting wine, food, and luxury vacations and they're complaining? I guess if more of these delights were coming my way I'd be weary, but so far I have yet to be taken on a trip that didn't involve taking a subway or a bus... which I had to pay for. So yeah, I'm not falling for the extravagant packaging... I don't even know where to find it. And thanks book for saying "the word". As many of you know I'm not big with using profanity or "dirty" words in my vocabulary and it's comforting to know that I can say "commitment" without feeling bad. Though, come on fellas, truthfully, I can't exactly see many of you highfiving over the word either so I'll try to use it sparingly.

• 2.) Don't Fall in Love with the Fancy Retail Experience

"Don't fall for that great Mr. Big apartment or that fabulous car. That alone won't cut it."
Honestly, those things don't ever even cross my mind. I don't have a clue how to spot a fancy car nor does it make a difference to me. I've never had the ability to even allow those things to sway me into liking someone or disliking them. I tend to find quirky humbled people far more appealing. I've always had a thing for guys who drive minivans. (Probably because that was the first car I drove and I now think it's great if someone can rock out a seemingly dorky vehicle.) So again, I'm not at all intrigued by the fancy retail experience and don't believe I'll be falling in love with it anytime soon.

• 3.) Don't Have a Romance with the Price Itself

"What do you wear more? The great-fitting white Gap T-shirt or that Hermes scarf you received from one of your castoffs?" Okay, I think this section may have been the only one to make a somewhat valid point and I guess I understand it... but really, I live in San Francisco... I'm going to wear my Gap T-shirt I bought at a GoodWill AND the scarf; it'd be silly to leave the house without the scarf with these bay breezes.

Rule #3: Don't Settle When You Shop... But Be Willing to Compromise

This section begins with telling me it's "almost" time to start my very own PGHM list. Yeah, okay book, I'll get right on that. In this long chapter full of pretty boring stories each lacking something I could really relate to, we're left with yet another thing to compare our prospective mates to: "think of a guy as a car: make sure you get a highly rated, safe vehicle with what you consider to be nice, sleek lines. But as far as the color of the interior - and maybe even the satellite radio - you may have to love it the way it comes (or install your own later)".

Wow, alright. So first bathing suits and now a car. I wish I didn't have to compare people to any of these material items because as soon as I do they take on the importance of them... which often isn't as much as they deserve. And is the book suggesting I can change the car myself when they mention installing something I wanted later on in our relationship? Somehow that seems a little assuming and contradictory to earlier points. Yikes. So what did we learn here today in these first three rules? Well, you all know now how I like my coffee, the color of my bedroom, and where I shop. I don't feel any closer to finding a decent purchased item let alone a husband. And to make it even worse we are only a quarter of the way through the rules! Nine more to go! I know I promised to rush through them so I'll try to take them a bit faster next time.

Thanks for checking in... I'll be reporting again soon.